


Whispers of the Heart

by MugenYumeDansu



Category: Bleach
Genre: Anger, Angst, Defiance, Depression, Drabbles, Friendship, Gen, Loss of Faith, Love, Not by a long shot, Possibly more characters to be added later, Questioning, Sadness, Self-Reflection, Self-Sacrifice, Why is my coffee always gone...???, more tags to be added later, not complete
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 00:13:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MugenYumeDansu/pseuds/MugenYumeDansu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles for various characters</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reflecting Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, and make no profits, this work is only for entertainment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya

 

**~B~L~E~A~C~H~**

**Reflecting Myself**

_Byakuya_

The glint of a diamond, the sparkle of sunlight on newly fallen snow. The shine of metal. All reflecting light, like eyes reflect firelight. Like the image in a mirror.

 

My own reflection is my worst nightmare. I am what I fear. I have become as my family wanted me, but I do not like myself. Freedom is what I crave. If I were free then I could stop pretending to be what everyone else sees. And like the diamond, like ice, I am hard and cold.

 

Only my eyes are not like the diamond and the Ice. And inside I feel like a mirror, reflecting what they wanted. I am fragile yet solid, like the glass I'm looking into.

 

Suddenly my perfect mask cracks, and reflected in the mirror is my face, my real face, twisted into an angry snarl. My eyes are wide and dancing with rage. Anger burns through me so fast, like paper, and I reach out, shattering the glass in front of me.

 

Picking up a shard, I feel the edge slicing into my skin. The section of my face reflected in that chunk of ruin was so drasticly different from the me that everyone else saw.

 

Suddenly I realized why I had let others shape what I became. Deep inside of me there lurked a monster that, if I let it out, would destroy everyone ad everything I held dear. And just as suddenly as it had come, the anger was gone.

 

I watched a droplet of blood run down the side of the mirror shard. Disgust filled me at what I had just done. I threw the shard back on the pile of its other pieces and turned toward the door.

 

Closing the door behind me, I pushed my earlier thoughts from my mind and kept walking.

 

**~B~L~E~A~C~H~**


	2. The Glass I'm Made Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rangiku

 

~B~L~E~A~C~H~

 

**The Glass I'm Made Of**

_Rangiku_

Sand shifts and slides upon itself, and time slowly but steadily slips by as we try to catch and hold it.

 

The shame in our eyes, minds, hearts, written on our faces.

 

The sadness takes hold and draws us down into its dark embrace.

 

Our blood flows easily, held in by only a thin shred of a barrier that is our skin.

 

I wonder, is my skin made of stone? Is my heart made of glass?

 

No. Stone can be broken. Glass can shatter. I cannot, because I already am.

 

I seem to feel nothing, my emotions stoppered up within myself, like so much vodka in a bottle. My bottle is filled with lies, pain, hurt and anger. I ask myself how I have grown so solid as to let death take her away and I felt nothing.

 

I am cold and hard as stone, brittle as glass.

 

I am the bottle of cheap vodka on the shelf in front of me.

 

She had a passion for poetry, as I have never seen. Her talent was amazing. The words she wrote upon the page were as nothing I had ever seen, nor shall ever see again. She plastered her soul onto the pages like so much ink. Like her blood across the parchment.

 

She was so warm and vibrant. Real and alive. I could see the glimmer of happiness reflected in her eyes, see the tremble of her body in the throes of laughter.

 

And now her body was cold and stiff and dead. No more the artist, no more the poet. No more to breathe in the taste of life, of the earth and of spring. The seasons would go on, yes, as would the years, but she would no longer be here to see it with me.

 

_Momo..._

 

My body was weak and worthless, and my soul worth little, but I would give up my life for her to live again. The worst part of all of this? She never even cared that I existed. And for this, I hated her. For this I wished her a more painful passing. And for this I hated myself.

 

"Matsumoto?" I heard his voice calling me. No. My captain would not find me here. All he would find would be my numbed body, with not even a spark of myself. Oblivion is what I seek, and oblivion is what I would find, held by brittle glass.

 

Reaching out I grasped the bottle of Vodka and unscrewed the lid in one fluid motion. And downed the entire, awful, burning thing in one long swallow.

 

Maybe this time it would devour my mind whole, and not let go.

 

I could only hope.

 

~B~L~E~A~C~H~


	3. Chapter 3

 

~B~L~E~A~C~H~

 

**Cold and Frozen**

_Renji_

 

And I am here again in this place, awaiting the sound of silence and hoping for a bit of light.

 

I have feeling, but my sight is gone. I feel both freezing cold and deadly numb.

 

I once knew her hands upon my skin, warming me, now all I feel is the Ice. Shards of shrapnel pierce my very soul, and my heart beats still. Water flows around my body, closing in all my thoughts.

 

And oh, what thoughts they are.

 

I wished once for my fang to reach the moon, but I know now that the moon is much too far to reach. Instead I wished that I had drawn the blade at my side for the ones who neded me most, rather than reached blindly for the moon's reflected light.

 

 

What was the moon anyway, but a mirror reflecting the sun in dull mockery. While very beautiful, it was only copying what was greater than itself.

 

Now my thoughts turn, toward the vibrant little flower growing at my feet. The one who was equal to the ferocity of my fang.

 

She fought like I did. She was like me, but her weakness was the cloud that overshadowed her. Always she would strive to grow larger as to be able to stretch far enough for the sun's light to peek past the edge of the cloud and cast its light upon her.

 

But the sun was too distracted by the birds that flitted by, and the clouds drifting past it in the sky to think of the flowers far beneath it, and so the blossom grew tough and dug its roots deep into the earth instead.

 

Her heart became hardened and she turned away the little bees who thought to help her. Until they stopped coming at all. The flower was strong and stable, but the slightest wind would uncover her roots, and she would once more dig herself deeper. Until she was so close to the ground that the sun might never reach her.

 

The flower had once offered me the nectar from her core, her very essence. Why had I not taken it? Because the moon seemed closer to me than ever before.

 

Sadly, the flower had wilted and now my fang had become so dull. What a pair we made.

 

I let myself sink lower into the cold below me. I welcomed the numbness and headed deeper into the dark and the silence. I let myself become the ice.

~B~L~E~A~C~H~


	4. Softly Melancholy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orihime

 

~B~L~E~A~C~H~

 

**Softly Melancholy**

_Orihime_

 

Soft is the sand at the edge of the ocean. Soft is the first snow of winter. Soft is the silk that we wrap ourselves in. Soft is the bed upon wich we sleep. Soft is the skin within wich we live. Soft are the lips that meet ours in the secret times we have stolen. Soft is the fur of the wolf, though his teeth are sharp.

 

I am alone, reflecting upon the reasoning behind my own actions. I question myself, asking was it right for me to leave them? Was I right to run away? Did I decide too fast? Did I make the wrong decision? Will this action of mine save them, or condemn them?

 

My heart races and my musles contract as my body is pushed to its limit. I am alone, forcing myself to move and stretch as I normally do. My body will not break this time though.

 

Yes I have concidered death, many times over by now, but that would make my life worse. I would only be reborn into the Se-rei-te and become a soul reaper, like Ichigo. Or I would become a hollow. either way, My life was better now, as it was. The cold man called Ulquiorra wasn't so bad as a companion. In fact he was easier to get along with now that he was gone most of the time, leaving me to my thoughts. And what thoughts I could produce!

 

But my one comfort was that I was never asked my thoughts. My thoughts were always on the others. I worried about them. And I wondered about them and how things might be different. I remembered the spring days in that classroom, with all of them gathered around talking animatly, or off in their own little groups, doing whatever it was they all liked doing.

 

And I felt remorse for the life I'd left behind. I wanted to go home, but I knew that if I did the others would be in danger. My agreement was to save them from harm, after all. My happiness, my comfort was not worth their lives.

 

I had no delusions about my worth. But all the same, I still cared. I cared too much, I think, for my own good, but such is the way of things. And it is this that caused me to put myself in their places. Out of love for all of them. I sincerely hoped that they all knew this. I missed them dearly and wished them safe, but I wasn't going back. When I agreed to come to Hueco Mundo I made my decision. And it would stand. I wasn't going to leave this place willingly.

 

I sighed and snuggled deeper into the fur of the small stuffed cat I had snuck along with me to remind me of home, of my friends, my family, and fell slowly asleep.

 

~B~L~E~A~C~H~


	5. Hiding Darkness, Hiding Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yachiru

~B~L~E~A~C~H~

 

**Hiding Darkness, Hiding Light**

_Yachiru_

Darkness is the enemy. And darkness is a friend. It hides danger, and secrets away the moments of insanity that we wish for no one else ever to see. And when it's ripped away it leaves us bereft and shivering in its wake, longing for its velvet embrace once more.

 

It is now that I wish the darkness to overtake me, to hide me. The lights above shine down on me, illuminating the world to my too-sensitive eyes. I stand here on the edge of running, without every intending to make a move. My father stands here in front of me, that look on his face once more. He want's to fight. Normally I would cheer him on and wish him the best, but now my thoughts are taken up by thoughts of  _him_. That man.

 

He is the reason that my feet wish to run. Why I want to hide. I want to run to him and bury my face in his immaculate robes and cling to him like the innocent, ignorant child that it seems I am to all outward appearances. I want to run from the thought of him. Run and hide away so that he'll never know how the caged young woman inside of me feels so strongly toward him.

 

Oh, he is so arrogant and beautiful. I want to punch that arrogance right off of his handsome face. I want to ravish him. I want to possess him. I just _want_ him. I want what I cannot have, and so I continue to wish the light away, so that I can hide a little while longer. So that I can keep my secrets to myself, keep them secret.

 

I can not even say his name without that warm feeling welling up in my chest. That almost imperceptible shiver that coasts along every inch of my skin, leaving gooseflesh in its wake. I picture his face and the forbbiden heat creeps across my cheeks, flusshes my body too hot, and too cold all at once.

 

He is tall, though not as tall as my father, and slender, rather than wide. His long dark hair, his cold visage, they attract me so. He shows no outward emotion, but I can see, hidden in the depths of his eyes, the swirling vortex of  _feelings_. Of things he would hide from the rest of the world, does hide from the outside world, but he cannot hide from me. And insteand I must hide myself from him.

 

I hate the dark that I must cloak myself in, and I wish to share his light. I want to see him look at me with those deeper-than-the-ocean grey eyes of his. I want to lose myself in the tangle of his hair, the planes of his body, the feel of our seperate beings, entwined so tight its almost painful. I want the pure exctasy of just one night with him. I want all of his nights, his days, his very existence.

I can see his hidden strength in every step he takes, and I can feel the cold he wraps himself in to hide from the world. And I share it with him in so many ways.

_Byakuya..._

I want to tell someone, but I don't want anyone to know. I want to whisper my secrets, my every twisted, delishious, naughty thought into his ear and see him react in kind. I want so very badly just to tell him, but I know he will reject me. Maybe not out of his own desires, but also out of his _obligations_. So I will keep my secrets hidden in the dark, far away from the light.

 

I run a hand through my silky bubblegum pink locks, and push my circling thoughts down, tamp them down so deep they cannot betray me, even for a second, and leap onto the shoulders of my honored father, and off we go again to look for a fight, and I will cheer the battle on like I always do.

 

I will play the part of the obedient, guiless child, so the woman can be free to feel, free to dream. I will keep myself in the dark so that my secret desires, my wishes, my fantasies, cannot be detroyed by rejection and pain. I keep the light, so that the dark can exist.

 

That is the way that it must be, and so it stays.

 

**~B~L~E~A~C~H~**


	6. Hollow Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinamori

~B~L~E~A~C~H~

 

Hollow Inside

 

You told me once that you would always love me, but I see in your eyes that there is no emotion left at all. The windows into your supposed soul are flat, hard as stone. Like a mirror, reflecting only the outside, never showing what is swirling round within. 

 

You have become so very cold. To me. To the world. And I fear that I will never be able to reach your ice-encased heart again. I have given everything to you, time after time, after time. I have done unimaginable, unforgivable things, impossible things, for you. And now there is nothing left for me to give. 

 

I am becoming, like you, empty and hollow. I am but a shell of what once I was. Brittle, thin, like glass that's been worked too thin. And if you cast me aside again, I fear that I shall shatter as I fall.

 

This is how it has been for so long, that now it is much too hard to change. And now we've finally, blessedly, reached a crossroads. If we cannot become more than this, and transcend this state we find ourselves in, we will fall. 

 

I see this so clearly and I wish so hard for anything to change, and fix what has been twisted and broken. Corrupted by you're very touch. 

 

But in your eyes I see no love any longer. In your touch I feel hesitation and disdain. I feel repulsive when I am with you. Once you called me beautiful. Once you made me feel that the world was my kingdom, and I a queen. Now I feel as if I am no more than your pawn, a puppet for you to use and then cast aside again. And I must ask you now, am I but dust and smoke to you? Incorporeal, unreal, not really there at all.

 

I need to know if you truly love me anymore. If you ever did. If you do... 

If you don't then I cannot--will not--stay. I shall break. And all I hold within shall spill across the ground, the grass, and be lost, and I will not move again. I will become the one who is well and truly cold. I will leave this world with a broken heart, and a memory of what I believed once was...

 

~B~L~E~A~C~H~


End file.
